The Bookshelf

   I am a reader. I could -and quite frankly, have- read a book for hours on end. When I was in Middle School and High School I got in the habit of reading under my covers with a flashlight so that my dad wouldn't see the light still on when he came home from work late in the night, hours after I should have been asleep. Which leads me to Stevensville, Montana. There is a special thing about the Stevenville library that I noticed from the first day, that pulls at me every time I visit. It's a "free books" bookshelf. How awesome is that?! Outside of the library is a bookshelf protected from the elements by an overhang in which anyone in the community can place their unwanted books, and anyone else can feel free to take them. I can't help but look at it as I walk by just to see what is on the shelf on any given day, at least I couldn't help it until about two weeks ago when a specific title caught my eye: Don't Look Twice.

   As a full-time missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ I have made the commitment to leave behind all worldly things and to lend my life to service of the Lord for the next 18 months. As part of leaving behind all worldly things, I committed to only read my scriptures and four other gospel related books. What a challenge for me, especially when I let myself indulge in the habit of looking at titles of other books! So when my eyes hit the title, Don't Look Twice, I felt immediately chastised. I had willingly made a commitment to leave books behind, and though I had no intention of reading the books whose titles I was reading, I was looking twice at something I was not supposed to.

This made me think about the people everywhere who are trying to make and keep commitments to follow the Lord and leave behind all old sins and habits. While we really want to turn away from it and have no intention of ever going back, how often do we take a moment to look back at what was left behind? While this is a natural reaction to look back, the problem becomes a true issue when we look twice. Some problems, addictions or behaviors take a long time to heal and the long lasting hold that Satan had on us can cause us to feel a strong pull backwards at times. However, if we don't look twice, we can call on God to stay the tide.

Elder Neal A. Anderson said, "When we sin, we turn away from God. When we repent, we turn back toward God." The joy of turning to God is incomparable to anything else. It is our supreme and ultimate goal. We can't afford to lose it by looking twice!